drlecterpsychiatrist:

“I wonder,” he starts, swirling the contents of his glass, “if you’d have escaped with me. Tonight.” Pressure, of course, but one that cannot be avoided. Yes, this definitely is the breaking point but he’s tired of walking through the fire, tip toeing to avoid getting burnt and suffering for some reckless behavior, fueled by his feelings. Because they are there, even if he can’t compute them. The commands Hannibal sends to his brain in regards to emotions aren’t always welcomed and the struggle to keep them at bay, to remain stoic, cold and calculating, can be quite a battle in the man’s mind. And the question is precise, no playing around there.

It almost sounds as if Will is mocking his fortune, and in some way it must be, but Hannibal can tell that he’s thinking of something else, something outside the reality that surrounds him, so close to prison now. “One I must carry on my own, I suppose.”

The doctor’s eyes are cast down as the young man suggests that it should be something they could face together. No. The imprisoned life is something he’ll have to endure alone if that happens. He’s guessing that yes, it will, if the profiler’s confirming that he’ll visit him in the institution. Such a pity. “It’s a shared situation, but the burden will be mine alone. You’ll be out playing the hero while I’ll be void of my liberty. I don’t think we’d be in equal ground then.”

Will’s eyes fall shut for a moment, and try as he might to maintain the illusion, it cracks. Hand tightening around his glass enough to turn his knuckles white, his jaw works before he gives a shaky nod. The complete splitting of allegiances seems as if it’s come straight out of a movie, but being caught in the middle of it himself drains the entertainment out of it. “Yes,” he admits against his better judgement.

Right, wrong, both choices are discordant with what they should be. Everything has been blurred, almost beyond recognition.

“Even then, I doubt anyone would consider me a hero, not after… everything. I think I’ve done too much by this point.” Hannibal is right about everything else, of course. Will won’t be the one caught behind bars for the rest of his life. And that shouldn’t feel as wrong as it does. “You could leave. Now. Before… before anything happens. Before anything has to happen.”